So this past week I took a challenge. This challenge is to make time for myself and for my yoga mat everyday for an entire 30 days! I jumped on this opportunity to turn my life around (again) and free myself from the prison I had created throughout the previous 2 years.

A little dramatic you say? Let me back up just a bit. I took this same challenge 4 years earlier and it was life changing! I renewed my incredible love for this practice and the invaluable love I needed to renew for myself.

So where did it all go wrong…

Well, since then I left my dream job, married my prince charming/best friend, moved 2,000 miles from home, was jobless for 1.5 years, gained more weight than I care to share, had a few negative experiences that have helped my grow as a human being and lost the sense of community I had once appreciated in the various gyms and studios where I worked. I’m not one for excuses so please don’t get me wrong. I own every event in my life and understand that the choices I make every moment are shaping my future and have shaped where I am right now.

My “ah-ha” moment…

I woke up one day and realized, “this isn’t me! Who’s body am I living in?? Who’s life did I suddenly wake up in?? Why have I let go of my passion and who I am?? Can I ever get back to me and my body and my life??

I woke up and realized how good I was at running, moving, hiding and leaving. My young life consisted of a split custody situation where I went back and forth between my parents every few days (which I wouldn’t trade for the world). I then went on to college but only spent 2 years at one college before transferring to another. After graduation I moved to Maryland where I spent about 2 years before moving to Utah. I have been here with my husband for a little over 2 years and we are now preparing to move back to his hometown. See the pattern? “Don’t get comfortable” seems to be my life moto.

Can I really do this…

As we prepare to finally lay down some roots in my husband’s home town, I ask myself this question over and over and over. Am I really ready to stop moving and experiencing new places to live?? Am I ready?? I know I want to start my family but am I ready to live in the same place for 20+ years!?!? I am now facing an ultimate test of living in the moment, trusting God’s perfect plan and breathing through a very uncertain and unexplored territory for me. I couldn’t help but feel out of place in this life and body I no longer recognized.

Then I went home for the holidays…

I went back to my roots and was surrounded by people who know ME the real ME and love me no matter what my exterior looks like or how it changes. I was welcomed with open arms as if nothing had changed and it felt good! I was able to spend time with some of the most amazing people I know! This is what I needed, this was the boost I needed to get back to feeling like the person they saw in me. I needed a change and Amazing Yoga presented me with that change/challenge. I was surfing Facebook mindlessly (as I often do) and I came across the 30 days of yoga challenge. It was to begin on February 1st and I immediately knew this was exactly what I had been needing!

The beginning of the new/old me…

Today was the completion of my first week in the challenge. I made time for me and for yoga every single day! Man it felt good! My body is remembering this practice and how long it has been craving a daily yoga practice! Today I took 10 minutes to meditate after my physical practice and it was so powerful!! My eyes welled up with tears as I meditated in prayer, sending love and compassion to the world and to all the people I love! I will be adding these incredible meditations to my weekly practice from now on.

In the words of my sister… Here I am…

I am finally feeling like I am getting closer to the real genuine ME! The ME that was fearfully, perfectly and wonderfuly made by my Heavenly Father! I am loved! The world needs me to get back to being me.

So here’s to the start of a new chapter.

~Namaste~